Respecting My Son’s Individuality After His Diagnosis

It took me a while to realize that my son was not his diagnosis. Like many parents of newly-diagnosed children with autism, I worked relentlessly with my son after finding out that he had autism, thinking that it was only a matter of how much time and effort I put in for my son to be able to overcome his challenges.

Before I knew what was happening, I had turned my son into a project to be worked on instead of a child to be loved. It was only when the both of us ended up burnt out and miserable that I realized that this was not working. My sweet, cheerful, lively, bubbly, happy-go-lucky boy was no longer any of those things. He was sad, tired, frustrated, defeated and withdrawn. I was so mad at myself for having done this to him. I hated myself for losing sight of who my son was in the process of trying to get him to “fit” into society.

It is so important to remember that our kids are individuals with their own identity, personality, traits, just like neurotypical kids. Working with them indiscriminately, without taking their individual characteristics into consideration can set them up for failure, resulting in lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem and depression. It is important to work with their likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, styles of learning, means of motivation, to help them blossom and grow into the people they are meant to be.

Love,

Preeti

DISCLAIMER: Please note that I am neither a doctor, a therapist, or a special educator. I am the mother of a young man with special needs. Everything I write is based on my personal experiences with my son and should not be taken as or in place of professional advice.